Men Changing Men

[Juan and Yenan]

Men Changing Men
The following are suggestions on how to create awareness and prevent potentially harmful situations.

Realize how other men's uncaring or wrong behavior might affect your own life. Some woman or man that you care about may have been raped. Understand that this person might need your support but might be unable to enter into a relationship at the present time. Also realize that some women who have been raped might feel distrustful of men in general.

Confront other men's rape jokes and remarks; relate to others why these jokes are not funny and the harm they can cause.

Confront other men's harassment--verbal or physical--of women. Most women don't consider it flattery but rather a reminder of their vulnerability to rape.

Educate other men about what rape really is. Help them to clear up any misconceptions they might have.

Ask men who you don't recognize what they are doing in your dorm or residence, or who it is they are looking for.

Confront potential rape scenes. When you see a man verbally harassing a woman, stand by to see if she needs help. If a man is hitting or holding a woman against her will, do something immediately to help her.

When walking in groups of men or alone be conscious as you approach a woman. Be aware of how afraid she might feel, and give her space on the street if possible.

Be supportive of women's actions to control their own lives and make their own decisions. Don't be afraid to express these ideas.

If someone you know has expressed violent feelings or demonstrated violent behavior in a particular relationship with someone, try to help him find an appropriate person with which to talk (mental health, RA, etc).

[Mary Smith-Moore]

Men can help end domestic violence. This is a very serious problem...

· Learn about the full range of emotional, verbal, and physical behaviors men use to control their partners.

· End those behaviors in your own life, and challenge other men to end them as well. This includes challenging all forms of sexism wherever you find it.

· Support your sons to respect and value women as equals. Support your daughters to be self-loving and powerful.

· Help build community-wide intolerance for all expressions of male control over women.

· Make it know to your women friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors that you do not tolerate abusive behavior toward women.

· Support community efforts to prevent violence against women. Involve your religious organizations, parent’s groups, or neighborhood association in domestic violence prevention programs. Support women's safety and equality wherever you go.

1. TAKE A TIME-OUT
A time-out is an emergency tool to use when you think you may be violent to your partner. Tell your partner about the time-out process before you use it. Make an agreement with her that you will give her a safe consistent time-out signal anytime you think you are about to be violent and need to take a time-out. Also, offer her the agreement that she may use a time-out signal if she feels afraid and thinks you need to take a time-out, and then take a time-out! To do so, remove yourself safely from the house and your partner for 60 minutes so you won't harm or abuse her. After one hour, if you are calm, call your partner and ask her if she feels safe. If she does, then return to your house. If she does not feel safe, tell her you will call back in an hour. Call back one hour later and ask your partner if she feels safe. If she does, return home. If she does not, find another place to stay for the night.

2. CALL THE MEN'S 24-HOUR HOTLINE
The hotline provides support and information to men who want to stop their violence to their partners.

DURING YOUR TIME-OUT PRACTICE THE 4 D's:

· Don't Drink

· Don't Drive

· Don't Do Drugs

· Don't Do Anything Violent or Dangerous, Including Dangerous Thinking.

[Juan and Yenan]

This is a great information. Invite your friends

[Apostle Dr. Lee Ann Marino]

I think this is all great info. One of the most important things men can do is apply peer pressure. Don't make abuse or mistreatment of women a social joke, political statement, or funny thing on any level. Don't objectify or diminish the women in your life for the sake of other men around you and children as well as because that is just how things should be done.

Another thing men should do is be cautious of how they speak a) to women and b) about women. Often men use terminology to address women that can make them feel uncomfortable, and it can cause a woman to feel uncomfortable to hear men speak in such a manner about other women. If it's not appropriate for mixed company....IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE!

[Juan and Yenan]

Amen!

Apostle Dr. Lee Ann Marino said:

I think this is all great info. One of the most important things men can do is apply peer pressure. Don't make abuse or mistreatment of women a social joke, political statement, or funny thing on any level. Don't objectify or diminish the women in your life for the sake of other men around you and children as well as because that is just how things should be done.

Another thing men should do is be cautious of how they speak a) to women and b) about women. Often men use terminology to address women that can make them feel uncomfortable, and it can cause a woman to feel uncomfortable to hear men speak in such a manner about other women. If it's not appropriate for mixed company....IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE!