Marriage Counseling

[Juan and Yenan]

Marriage couples when having marital problems can have some conflicts in views, needs and values. “To decide whether a given conflict is resolvable, it helps to clarify whether only needs are at stake, whether views are inconsistent, or whether personal values are on the line” (James 107). For me our views in marriage are a manifestation of our values and beliefs, and what we expect that will be provided for us to meet our needs. For the purpose of this work views, values and needs may interconnect with each other, but they also will be covered individually.
When counseling a married couple, the couple needs to identify the views they have about marriage. Helping the spouses to identify and define their marriage views will help them to understand their expectations. The couple also neeThe Views, Needs and Values in Marriageds to know and define what needs are important to them collectively, and individually; and what needs are not being met. Another important area in marriage counseling is to help the couple improve intimacy. Helping the married couple to identify what personal values are shared, and which ones are not, thus, sharing these values in different ways and respecting each one’s differences can improve marital intimacy.
Clarifying views, needs and values will help the married couple identify and define the problems they are having, and what options are valid for them. Since, each couple is unique, there is not a formula on how to counsel a married couple. However, in working with views, needs and values, may help the couple find their own way to love and feel loved to renew their marital commitment as a result redefine their views, needs and values.

The Views, Needs and Values in Marriage
Christian counselor Willard F. Harley, Jr., believes that the best way to keep a marriage happy and stable is for spouses to meet each other’s needs. Harley states that the basic needs of men are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support such as a clean and peaceful home, and admiration. Harley expresses that women’s basic needs are a little different: affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and the husband’s commitment to the family (Collins 104).